Dorothy Polando's Funeral Sermon

"There is nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:39)

I’ve had a few people approach me this week with frustration concerning how short Dorothy’s obituary was.  While I agree that her obituary could be a book…I also think that her obituary was incredibly appropriate.  Her obit was short and to the point…just like Dorothy!

Dorothy Booth Polando was an incredible woman and had many laudable accomplishments. She was author of her husband John’s biography, WINGS OVER ISTANBUL, President of the Junior Aid Society, board member of Girls Inc., a Girl Scout leader Treasurer and Scholarship Chair for the Womens City Club, Aids/HIV hot line volunteer, bookkeeper of the Portsmouth Athenaem, Volunteer of the year by the Governor of NH in 2000 and receipient of the Aero Club of N.E.s book of the year award in 2002.  The list could go on and on.

At her beloved St. John’s Church she was Historian and tour guide, counter, Queen of the Holly Hill Fair and seamstress extraordinaire.  Upon my arrival at St. John’s she asked me if I knew the church’s history and I foolishly said, “Yes.”  She quickly corrected me by saying, “No you don’t, you haven’t taken my tour yet!”  She, as usual, was right.

Of all her accomplishments the one that overshadows all the others for was her faithfulness.  Not only was she always present to her commitments and duties, she was always present to her life!  Whether it was counting on Monday mornings or making sure the grape jam was ready for the fair…she made sure it was done and completed with excellence.  Her faithfulness to a community, a family and to God was deep and strong and a presence we will all miss greatly. She was 96 this past month and I had the pleasure of knowing her for 7 of those 96 years.  I only knew her for a blink and yet it so enriched my life and the lives of countless others. So today we gather not so much to mourn the loss of Dorothy, but rather to celebrate her life, a life which in turn, touched the lives of so many others. 

In his epistle to the Romans, St. Paul writes to that fractious community, "For I am convinced that there is nothing in death or life, in the realm of spirits or superhuman powers, in the world as it is or the world as it shall be, in the forces of the universe, in heights or depths --- nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." As I sat and poured over various lectionary options, this reading selected itself. At some level, conscious or unconscious, this lesson spoke to me, because of my belief that the bonds of love and affection between Dorothy and this community of friends and family, strengthened and nurtured through a lifetime of joys, struggles and all the other necessities of deep abiding love are so strong, that they cannot be severed by death. And moreover, the unbounded love that Jesus has for us cannot be cut off because Dorothy is no longer in our midst. We pray at every Eucharist for the dead, "For to thy faithful people, Lord, life is changed, not ended." And this is why we can pray with Dorothy who "rejoices with us but upon another shore and in a greater light." Dorothy always relished being in the know, being in the loop. It comes as no small comfort to us to know that she still is.

The last month of her life in many ways characterized this amazing woman.  On the heels of a heart attack that left her weakened but not beaten many of us thought that she would slip away.  Wow were we wrong.  While in the Hyder House run by hospice she commented to me that the view was lovely and that it reminded her of her childhood farm, BUT she was going to go home.  And go home she did.  Frank Sinatra might not have intended any of his songs to be about Dorothy but there has never been a more appropriate song for a human.  Dorothy truly did do it “her way.”

Now, as we return to this hallowed place to commend her soul to Almighty God, the name of Dorothy Booth Polando is etched in the Book of Life, in that place "where sorrow and pain are no more, neither sighing but life everlasting." But it is no less significant that her name is also etched in the hearts of so many people whose lives she has touched. Those who knew Dorothy would attest that she treated everyone the same—everyone…from the commanding officer to the acolyte.   Dorothy took seriously her baptismal vow to "strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being." Dorothy was a member of the old school, a scholar, a patriot, a leader, but above all, a devoted follower of Christ. Dorothy Polando was, in short, a class act.

And so we say to her "Well done, Dorothy, thou good and faithful servant, enter into the joy of the Lord." +Rest eternal grant unto Dorothy, O Lord, and let light perpetual shine upon her. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in peace and rise in glory. AMEN.

Transitions at St. John's: Opportunities!

Posted by Jeff Thornberg, Associate Rector

The Episcopal liturgy from the Book of Common Prayer used for memorial services for the dead is beautiful, historic, and holy. For me, it richly encompasses the breadth and depth of the joy, grief, and celebration inherent to the human experience. Though most people only encounter the liturgy periodically (or hopefully rarely), as a priest of the church, I have the distinct privilege of celebrating the Rite quite often, as we say goodbye to those who have died.

Within the Proper Preface before communion, there is found the phrase, “for your
faithful people, O Lord, life has changed not ended; and when our mortal body lies in death, there is prepared for us a dwelling place eternal in the heavens” Each time I hear these words I am calmed, comforted, and reassured of the Christian witness. To be an Easter people is not devoid of challenge, illness, or grief. Rather, it is to have the faith that from death comes new life, and new opportunities.

At St. John’s, we are in the midst of much transition. Rob is away on sabbatical until August 12th. Amy Dutton, our talented and beloved Christian Education director is moving onto new opportunities on May 20th, and we are in the midst of a search for her replacement. Dick Siener, our beloved part time retiring priest, will celebrate 50 years of ordained ministry on June 24th, and transition into a new role as parishioner.

Amidst all of this, each of us finds ourselves with a myriad transitions in our own lives. Babies are born, seniors graduate and enter college, newlyweds celebrate their wedding day. Furthermore, illness occurs, we face disappointment and sometimes rejection, and loved ones die. As children of God, the myth is that we are ever in charge, or that we are not always in some way changing and transitioning.

“For your faithful people, O Lord, life has changed not ended.” Nothing is ending at St. John’s. Rather, we are entering into a new phase with new opportunities.

Our call is to seek to enter into transition faithfully. The opposite of faith is not doubt. The opposite of faith is fear. To be fearful is to let our fears and anxieties tailor our actions. To be fearful is to believe that life is ending. To be faithful is to grieve, to cry, to laugh, and then to be open for new opportunities. The same is true in our lives. I  pray that all of us, amidst our transitions, and changes, and losses, may seek to be faithful: to support one another, to love one another as fellow children of God, and to seek to be resurrection people. May we laugh, cry, grieve, and walk with one another as we enter into new challenges, opportunities

The Yin and Yang of Life

Posted by: Amy Dutton, Christian Education Director

On May 20th we celebrate KINGDOM SUNDAY. The staff will often refer to this Sunday as “Kitchen Sink Sunday” because we fit so much into one day. We will have our last day of Sunday School and recognize the teachers and mentors. We will also recognize the graduating seniors, and this year there are a lot of them (yes, including my son)!

As we prepare to say our “good-byes” to these seniors we also look at the journey that we have been on together. I have said many times this year that my son is not mine, he is God’s. We were simply blessed with him for a short 18 years under our roof but now we send him out into the world. Our prayer is that we have given him the foundation of faith, morals, values, ethics, confidence and self-assurance to face the challenges that lie ahead.

But our relationship and responsibilities don’t simply end, it just changes - and these changes are completely appropriate. Sad as it may be to have an empty bedroom in my house come September, we are also excited for him and proud of his transition. Ah, the yin & yang of life!

On May 20th we will also celebrate my last day as Christian Ed. Director of St. John’s. Our relationship too will look a little different, but we are not closing the book – just turning the page and starting a new chapter.

I have had the pleasure over the last three years of developing strong and meaningful relationships with young and old alike! I have been on a pilgrimage to Ireland with 12 amazing teenagers and ran the Sunday School program with talented teachers and children. I have had the opportunity to create youth programs that have been enriching and fulfilling and I have worked hard to connect the generations of this parish. I encourage you all to continue on strong in seeking and strengthening your faith and relationships with others and God!

Yes, I am proud of what we have done together over the last few years, but the work has just begun! The yin & yang of life is that we learn and grow through all experiences and support each other in the process and transition. St. John’s has been a big part of my growth and I thank you all for the experience! May God richly bless us in the new adventures that lie ahead!

Vestry Vibe May 2012

Posted by: Dani Megliola, Clerk
New Vestry Members and Leadership Changes:
Please join the vestry in welcoming Marian Ellis, Tim Platt and Peter Tarlton as new vestry members, elected for a three-year term. As Peter Tarlton shifts into the role of vestry member, he hands the torch of Treasurer to the incredibly capable Kathryn Saunders; we thank her for her eager willingness to accept this important role. Chris Sieve steps down after 6 years as Senior Warden, and the impossible task of filling her shoes has been given to Anna Kay Vorsteg. Anna Kay brings three years of vestry experience, best known as our tireless head of the Stewardship Committee, as well as incredible energy and enthusiasm to her new role. We are thrilled to have all of their energy and voices.

It is impossible to thank Peter and Chris enough for their leadership, and all they have done to make St. John’s what it is today. Though we are thrilled to have Peter on the vestry for another three years, it is with great sadness we say good-bye to not only Chris, but also Kathy Flygare and Robert Mood. Chris, Kathy, and Robert, we look forward to continuing to serve and worship with you all, and are indebted to you for your service, commitment, and love of St. John’s.

Treasurer’s Report:
The Treasurer is cautiously optimistic about our yearly progress to date. Though our expenses are slightly lower than budgeted (~$2K), we are unfortunately also behind on our pledge revenue (~$5k). Let’s try to close that gap by remembering to pay our pledge money on a timely basis. Also, we are soon to enter the summer months, a time when vacations are on the rise and revenues are on the decline. Though we may travel, St. John’s lights will continue to shine, so please consider paying your pledge money in advance for the time you will be away.

Uncommon Table fundraiser:
The Uncommon Table fundraising event will be held on Saturday, June 2nd in Thaxter Hall. The format will be slightly changed from prior years - the event will be held on a Saturday night (rather than Friday) and food will be served in stations rather than as a sit-down dinner. But never fear! The delicious food (thanks to Chef Perrin Long and the culinary students at Portsmouth High School), fabulous auction, live entertainment and great company will still delight. This event always sells out – if you want to come, be sure to buy your tickets early. If you have any big-ticket items you might be interested in donating to the auction (such as sports tickets, vacation homes or time shares, airline miles, or restaurant or spa gift certificates), please speak with Lew Roberts or John Tabor, who have graciously agreed to chair the auction committee. Additional information about ticket pricing will follow shortly – stay tuned! For any other queries, please contact Judy Roberts or Dawn Carswell.

Building and Grounds:
A hearty thank you to Scott Osgood for organizing, and to the many who turned up wielding rakes and brooms for St. John’s convivial Clean Up Day, held on Saturday, March 31st. The grounds looked stunning for Easter Services. If you missed it this year, no worries - it is an annual event, and we’re always accepting new volunteers. To complement the gorgeous work on the grounds, the exterior of Thaxter Hall is to get a face-lift as well; painting is scheduled to commence in June or July.

Christian Education:
Amy Dutton will be stepping down as Christian Education Director after having done a wonderful job spiritually guiding our children for the past three years. Her enthusiasm will be missed, but her innovative programming ideas will continue her legacy. We look forward to worshipping with you, Amy, from the pews. An energetic committee, headed by Chris Sieve, continues the search for Amy’s replacement, hopefully to begin in the new role in August.We hope everyone will come to church on Sunday, May 24th to celebrate Amy’s last day.

This month brings the celebration of 10 of our youth completing the Rite 13 program. There will be a party for the families and the participants on Saturday May 12th, followed by a service in their honor on Sunday May 13th. Please come meet and say a word of welcome to these amazing adolescents.

Rector Report:
Easter Sunday marked the start of Rob’s sabbatical, a scheduled time away from the persistent obligations of daily parish life, to engage in a period of exploration and reflection, and regain enthusiasm and creativity for ministry. We wish Rob well, and look forward to his return in August. During his time away, we remain under the loving, able care of Jeff and Dick.

June 24th will be Dick’s last Sunday on staff, though fortunately he will remain at St. John’s as a parishioner. On this day we will also celebrate 50 years of Dick's ordained ministry. Dick will lead one service that day, at 9:00 am, followed by a festive coffee hour. We hope everyone can come, and celebrate the beginning of this new chapter for Dick Seiner.

There were three Meet-and-Greets for the new Bishop this week. The first, May 1st was at Christ Church in Exeter, the second was May 2nd at the Holderness School, and the third was May 3rd at St. Paul’s school. The Bishop Search Committee has worked hard over a period of many months, and hopes that many had a chance to attend one of the sessions.

Vacation Bible School:
The vestry and staff have made the decision to not hold Vacation Bible School this June. Since we currently do not have the staff resources and expertise required to do the program well here at St. John’s, Jeff is looking into alternative options at different churches. We are one church in many houses! If anyone has any questions, please speak with Jeff.

Dine Around Dinner Series:
Our popular Dine Around dinner series begins again! These dinners are meant to be a way for the parishioners of St. John’s to meet one another in a relaxed setting. Seven households will host the first round of diners within the next month. Although the invite lists are being set, we are still accepting additional participants. Please contact either Andy Bangs or John Tabor to be a part of this well-loved dinner series.

The Breath of God

Posted by Rob Stevens, Rector

An image that has aided me on my journey of faith is that of breathing. Although an unconscious practice most of the time, breathing is essential for life. Breathing is not a one-way process. One must inhale and exhale. Balance of action is necessary for effective breathing.

This is a helpful metaphor for our life as well.Like the petulant child that threatens to hold his breath until he gets his way, we can attempt to inhale without ceasing and isolate ourselves from people and opportunities that lead us closer to God and others. This results in a common affliction in our culture I like to call, “Affluenza” or other  ailments of selfishness.

Perhaps more insidious is the temptation to exhale constantly with the appearance of serving others while never taking the much needed breath for ourselves that gives our service life, meaning and joy. The result of this can be a healthy dose of resentment and emptiness. If we are serving God or others in order to obtain credit or worthiness we are doomed from the start.

Service is the natural response to a good deep breath. During my time away on sabbatical one of the practices that I will undertake is to examine whether or not I am “breathing properly” and if in fact there are aspects of my life that are oxygen deprived.

Our lives, spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally crave oxygen. We need the breath of God, the Spirit, to infuse our lives in order to live well. Slowing down to breath deeply takes practice and patience. It is however, a practice that is worth the effort.

A favorite song of mine by the Indigo Girls has a lyric that says it well. “Darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable, and lightness has a call that’s hard to hear” Taking time to examine my breathing, as a metaphor for life, enables me to pay attention to my life and to God in a way that empowers me to resist the insatiable hunger and noise of darkness and hear that small still voice of lightness.

Communities like St. John’s have an opportunity. We can be helpful to each other with our respiratory issues. We can breathe deeply in worship and fellowship while exhaling the Holy Spirit to the world through our service of others. This is Church. This is the work and play of the children of God.

Examine your “breathing.” Do you sense a balance or imbalance? Are you oxygen deprived or do you have excess breath to share? Our lives are the gifts that we have to offer ourselves and the world. Do all in your power to practice “breathing” well. And thank God you have a community that supports you in that process.

Faithfully, your rector and friend, Rob