So may we, in this life
trust

to those elements
we have yet to see

or imagine,
and look for the true

shape of our own self,
by forming it well

to the great
intangibles about us.

My path to God through my child within is uncomplicated and sweet, a lovely time of innocence with moments of complete TRUST.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship.

Somewhere between the pandemic and politics, I lost trust. Somewhere between the gun and racial violence, I lost trust. And somewhere between the remarkable difference the lockdowns have made on the natural world and so very, very much more, I will share that I have lost trust. Ugh.

How was I to get through these times, what was I to learn or what could I practice? I wanted to listen to God.

But the good news is that then there is new life. Wildflowers bloom again… They’re both such surprises. Wildflowers stop you in your hiking tracks. You want to savor the colors and scents, let them breathe you in, let yourself be amazed. And bulbs that grow in the cold rocky dirt remind us that no one is lost.

Remember him who himself remembers us as he promised to remember the thief who died beside him. To have faith is to remember and wait, and to wait in hope is to have what we hope for already begin to come true in us through our hoping. Praise him.

“Hope has an astonishing resilience and strength. Its very persistence in our hearts indicates that it is not a tonic for wishful thinkers but the ground on which realists stand.”

Hope seems to me to be the basis of most spiritual life. I remember my grandmother kneeling with me at my bedside when I was 3 or 4, and teaching me that I could talk to God.

Teach us God, to turn our panic into patience,
And our fear into acts of kindness and support.
Open the eyes of those who are ignoring warnings that can and will save lives.
Help each one of us to do our part to end this virus

Desmond Tutu once said “ Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.”

We need contemplative practices to loosen our egoic attachment to certainty and retrain our minds to understand the wisdom of paradox.

Was I resting and waiting patiently for the Lord? Did I forsake wrath? Exhilarating questions for which I still seek answers. I do know that I continued my prayers for dedication and my recovery was swifter than expected.

Now, more than ever, we need to trust and accept that everything will unfold exactly as it is supposed to, when it is supposed to.

But wait – the topic is patience? So perfect for me! I have struggled with patience, or the lack thereof, for years. What a blessing to be prompted to ponder it further in order to share my personal experience and thoughts.

At the very first Sunday, I felt at home, a slightly different home than I had had before, but one where God’s patience welcomed me.

The world didn’t take notice. Only those whom he called by name, with whom he broke bread, and to whom he spoke words of peace were aware of what happened. Still, it was this hidden event that freed humanity from the shackles of death.

Back to our evening walks – here I see such beautiful changes in the emergence of spring, slowly pushing its way forward.As I walk, I pray that I may move through change with as much grace as is embodied in the changes of the season.

I say that my heart has “re-emerged”….words are so difficult to find to precisely describe the transformative nature of a heart once broken into pieces and coming back to life. As St. Ignatius would say, the more I/we express our humanity by loving, healing, forgiving, serving, and even rejoicing….the more our own divinity or holiness is revealed.

For me this is an emotional link to the resurrection of the physical world which I see as a reflection of things that we cannot see, touch, or hear. Life is not limited to our perceptions, but they are a springboard to a richer and more vibrant existence. We only have to watch for the seemingly random connections that keep popping up in the most ordinary and extraordinary events.